Just a quick update, as I can't be bothered writing anything entertaining.
I'm in Vientaine now, the capital of Laos. Vientaine is pronounced "Wieng Chan" and not "Vee-en-tee-ayn" as Emily and Rosie consistently say. I always, of course, correct them.
It's hot here, and wet (but only in the evening so far), and very relaxed. Laos is a sleepy country and this is a sleepy city of 120000 people. A lot more peaceful than Daegu's hoard of 2.5 million.
I've spent time sitting by the river, drinking juice, we visited some park with lot of crazy Buddha statues, and I feel much more relaxed already. The people in Laos all seem very friendly too.
Strangely, I've seen more Westerners here than I ever do in Daegu. Travellers from Thailand mostly. Some look like annoying white-dreadlocked hippy trash that I just want to set fire to, but the ones I've met have been fine. Except for some very odd Norwegian who thinks he's Buddha and that monks were trying to kidnap him.
Anyway, tomorrow we go to some place called something like Savanakhet, and then to some place with lots of water. I'm feeling very wealthy because it's very cheap here, so I can flash my dollars at the cheap trash and let them see what hard earned money looks like. It also means that I can pretend to do extravagant gestures, like buy everyone lunch, even when it only costs about £5 in total.
Anyway, I've written more than I intended, and now I'm going to drink some Lao beer, which is really very nice and a lot better than the pish sold in Korea.
Monday, 26 July 2004
Friday, 23 July 2004
Tired And Glad Of My Holiday
I go on holiday tomorrow, for a week, to Laos. I very definitely need a holiday. I've been fed up teaching about "food", "family" and "It is a pencil" quite a lot for the last week.
I'll be fine when I return, and will start updating here a little more too. As for now, though, I am very glad I only have 6 more lessons to teach before getting my first proper rest in 7 months.
I'll be fine when I return, and will start updating here a little more too. As for now, though, I am very glad I only have 6 more lessons to teach before getting my first proper rest in 7 months.
Monday, 19 July 2004
Director Fashion Update
My director is wearing her little black evening dress yet again. It's beginning to really disturb me.
Friday, 16 July 2004
The Director's Dresses And Evolution
For some reason, my director has been choosing to wear dresses for the last week. No, don't worry, my director is female so this isn't as disturbing as it might be, but it is still quite disturbing nonetheless.
You see, my director was not blessed with "small" bones exactly. She looks the sort of lady who could floor most men with a single punch. And her previous incarnation as a medium-to-smartly dressed person was fine.
But there must have been some 2-for-1 sale on, because in the last week, two dresses have been getting heavy repetition. One is a big, orange, flowery number that might have come from 50's America. The other is a little black dress designed, I thought, for sophisticated nights out. Neither dress looks like daywear for the director of a school.
The biggest problem, however, is that my director looks like a bull. Maybe a bullfrog. She behaves in much the same way. Amd so her decision to start wearing evening wear at work disturbs me.
It's possible that she's noticed my recent step up in dress sense, and decided to follow my lead.
On a totally different note, I've decided to teach my kids about evolution. However, I'm not going to directly teach them it, I'm going to slowly demonstrate it by practical demonstrations of "survival of the fittest". I'm going to deliberately persecute the quietest and most retiring member of each class and make their life purest hell. I'm going to terrorise them by shouting furiously at them for the littlest things, mocking them endlessly, forcing them to sing in front of the class, and generally just making life a misery for them.
I intend to have my chosen victim in tears for at least 25 minutes out of 40.
I'm going to absolutely destroy this weak member of the class, until they have a breakdown or the parent removes them from the school. And thus, the other students will learn by example one of the key elements of evolution.
You see, my director was not blessed with "small" bones exactly. She looks the sort of lady who could floor most men with a single punch. And her previous incarnation as a medium-to-smartly dressed person was fine.
But there must have been some 2-for-1 sale on, because in the last week, two dresses have been getting heavy repetition. One is a big, orange, flowery number that might have come from 50's America. The other is a little black dress designed, I thought, for sophisticated nights out. Neither dress looks like daywear for the director of a school.
The biggest problem, however, is that my director looks like a bull. Maybe a bullfrog. She behaves in much the same way. Amd so her decision to start wearing evening wear at work disturbs me.
It's possible that she's noticed my recent step up in dress sense, and decided to follow my lead.
On a totally different note, I've decided to teach my kids about evolution. However, I'm not going to directly teach them it, I'm going to slowly demonstrate it by practical demonstrations of "survival of the fittest". I'm going to deliberately persecute the quietest and most retiring member of each class and make their life purest hell. I'm going to terrorise them by shouting furiously at them for the littlest things, mocking them endlessly, forcing them to sing in front of the class, and generally just making life a misery for them.
I intend to have my chosen victim in tears for at least 25 minutes out of 40.
I'm going to absolutely destroy this weak member of the class, until they have a breakdown or the parent removes them from the school. And thus, the other students will learn by example one of the key elements of evolution.
Upcoming Holiday Preparations
I'm going on holiday next week. After teaching 43 classes a week for six months, believe me I need a holiday.
This is the first proper holiday I've ever had in my life, as I was discussing with someone the other day. Actually, I was probably just telling them and being mildly irritated when they interrupted my talking with an opinion of their own. Usually, when I go abroad, I've just quit my job. Occasionally when I've had a job for long enough, I've taken a few days off for a holiday, but simply used to it to piss about. But this time, on my week's holiday I'm actually going on holiday, to Laos.
I picked up my flight yesterday. I'll arrive in Thailand on Sunday morning, and from there it's about an hour's drive to the Lao border. The capital, Vientaine, is more or less right there. I should be meeting with friends from home - Emily and Rosie - at 3pm that day.
Emily and Rosie are lovely girls, even if Emily does have socialist opinions and is one of the few people that can raise emotions in me. Except for the emotion of "disdain" - a lot of people make me feel disdain. Disdain is also a word that if you think about too hard, you start doubting its a real world.
Emily and Rosie together are a potent combination and I actually have fear that their uninhibited wildness might be too much for the quiet creature I have become. Back in Scotland, Emily was second only (to another friend, Jenny) for sheer capability for excess and endurance. With her friend from Glasgow, Rosie, added to the equation, it was like to volatile chemicals being mixed with dangerous results. Set loose in Asia, I have no doubt that there are already many traumatised Thai and Lao people who will talk for ages after about the two crazy white girl whirlwinds that scarred their little villages for generations.
Thus, I know that this duo will be a bad influence on me, and so I've recently been in slight training for our reunion. The Friday before last I got mildly drunk, and this Friday I actually went out till 7.30am and was definitely not sober.
It was Matt's fault. He's started to drink again and the leery, sleazy perve that I first became ingratiated with has returned. We had a couple of drinks near his area of town, outside a Family Mart - a chain corner store much like Spar or Alldays, but open 24 hours, selling beer, and with seating outside so you can drink your beer on the premises.
Into town then where we met up in some technically good bar but mysteriously sterile in atmosphere. Eileen and Maebh were also here and they seemed happy to see me for the first time in months.
A conversation about Iraq and the war then started, which I was forced to participate. Mainly because most people don't like the war but have these facile reasons, and I like to argue with them. I have no idea if I am pro-war or anti-war, but by default I always seem to be pro-war, just because most of these anti-war people are such asses.
Anyway, it was a very good natured discussion, and through it I ended up talking to some guy called Owen. He disturbed me, frankly. It was because he had this giant baby face. Really, he looked just like a big baby. He was unnaturally clean shaven - more clean shaven than any man, boy or even girl I know - and had curly locks. It was exactly like somebody had cut a baby's head off, inflated it, and stuck it on his body.
Well, maybe not "exactly like", because that would be a bit crazy.
Anyway, despite creeping drunkenness, I resisted telling him about his giant baby face and was, in fact, very well behaved and good company. At about 5am, most of us headed to Bubble Bar. It still had the same reckless, carefree attitude that appeals to me, but I continued my good behaviour and just had a few drinks and talked to some half Scottish guy (but Canadian being his predominant half) about Scottish football and other such stuff.
I got on well with him, but an incident later on did alarm me. He had a Korean girlfriend, whom he pointed out on the dancefloor. She looked like a pleasant female specimen and so I told him she seemed very nice. He then asked me if I wanted to dance with her. I didn't really know, to be honest, but he insisted I did and so she she started dancing this very suggestive and physical dance with me, as the boyfriend watched on. For a young gentleman like myself, having a girl dance provocatively before you while the boyfriend looks on approvingly, is a very confusing thing to occur.
Anyway, I managed to escape from this situation and the club closed soon after, where I managed to get a taxi home. I had a numb headache for a good chunk of yesterday, but still managed to go "orphan-saving" at the orphanage.
Today I intend to just have a day of peace. Some shopping, and I may meet with Matt later.
This is the first proper holiday I've ever had in my life, as I was discussing with someone the other day. Actually, I was probably just telling them and being mildly irritated when they interrupted my talking with an opinion of their own. Usually, when I go abroad, I've just quit my job. Occasionally when I've had a job for long enough, I've taken a few days off for a holiday, but simply used to it to piss about. But this time, on my week's holiday I'm actually going on holiday, to Laos.
I picked up my flight yesterday. I'll arrive in Thailand on Sunday morning, and from there it's about an hour's drive to the Lao border. The capital, Vientaine, is more or less right there. I should be meeting with friends from home - Emily and Rosie - at 3pm that day.
Emily and Rosie are lovely girls, even if Emily does have socialist opinions and is one of the few people that can raise emotions in me. Except for the emotion of "disdain" - a lot of people make me feel disdain. Disdain is also a word that if you think about too hard, you start doubting its a real world.
Emily and Rosie together are a potent combination and I actually have fear that their uninhibited wildness might be too much for the quiet creature I have become. Back in Scotland, Emily was second only (to another friend, Jenny) for sheer capability for excess and endurance. With her friend from Glasgow, Rosie, added to the equation, it was like to volatile chemicals being mixed with dangerous results. Set loose in Asia, I have no doubt that there are already many traumatised Thai and Lao people who will talk for ages after about the two crazy white girl whirlwinds that scarred their little villages for generations.
Thus, I know that this duo will be a bad influence on me, and so I've recently been in slight training for our reunion. The Friday before last I got mildly drunk, and this Friday I actually went out till 7.30am and was definitely not sober.
It was Matt's fault. He's started to drink again and the leery, sleazy perve that I first became ingratiated with has returned. We had a couple of drinks near his area of town, outside a Family Mart - a chain corner store much like Spar or Alldays, but open 24 hours, selling beer, and with seating outside so you can drink your beer on the premises.
Into town then where we met up in some technically good bar but mysteriously sterile in atmosphere. Eileen and Maebh were also here and they seemed happy to see me for the first time in months.
A conversation about Iraq and the war then started, which I was forced to participate. Mainly because most people don't like the war but have these facile reasons, and I like to argue with them. I have no idea if I am pro-war or anti-war, but by default I always seem to be pro-war, just because most of these anti-war people are such asses.
Anyway, it was a very good natured discussion, and through it I ended up talking to some guy called Owen. He disturbed me, frankly. It was because he had this giant baby face. Really, he looked just like a big baby. He was unnaturally clean shaven - more clean shaven than any man, boy or even girl I know - and had curly locks. It was exactly like somebody had cut a baby's head off, inflated it, and stuck it on his body.
Well, maybe not "exactly like", because that would be a bit crazy.
Anyway, despite creeping drunkenness, I resisted telling him about his giant baby face and was, in fact, very well behaved and good company. At about 5am, most of us headed to Bubble Bar. It still had the same reckless, carefree attitude that appeals to me, but I continued my good behaviour and just had a few drinks and talked to some half Scottish guy (but Canadian being his predominant half) about Scottish football and other such stuff.
I got on well with him, but an incident later on did alarm me. He had a Korean girlfriend, whom he pointed out on the dancefloor. She looked like a pleasant female specimen and so I told him she seemed very nice. He then asked me if I wanted to dance with her. I didn't really know, to be honest, but he insisted I did and so she she started dancing this very suggestive and physical dance with me, as the boyfriend watched on. For a young gentleman like myself, having a girl dance provocatively before you while the boyfriend looks on approvingly, is a very confusing thing to occur.
Anyway, I managed to escape from this situation and the club closed soon after, where I managed to get a taxi home. I had a numb headache for a good chunk of yesterday, but still managed to go "orphan-saving" at the orphanage.
Today I intend to just have a day of peace. Some shopping, and I may meet with Matt later.
Wednesday, 14 July 2004
Quick Update On The Last Few Days
Today's my easy day, as after the incessant series of classes on Monday and Tuesday, I get a few breaks today. It's still 8 classes, which is a hell of a lot, but it's broken up into bite-size chunks.
My past few days have been relatively interesting, and you may all be either shocked or relieved to hear that I managed to get drunk last Friday night. Not especially so, but this guy Craig that I know invited me and some others to watch left-wing ranter Michael Moore's prize-winning and apparently controversial documentary "Fahreinheit 9/11", about evil US President Bush and the helpless Al Queda. Or something like that.
Anyway, it was very good and let to an obligatory discussion about the war afterwards. Because there were a number of people I don't know - including a non-drinking vegetarian for God's sake - I was very diplomatic and didn't give my real opinions about the war. Which are that it was great fun to watch on TV.
I ended up just drinking with Craig for hours afterwards, until about 3am, whereby I was in full control and could easily have driven a lorry, maybe even two, but perhaps just not legally.
As a result, I missed my Korean class for the first time in months on Saturday. I was feeling lethargic and was quite glad that there was no orphanage teaching that day, for some reason or another. I took a short wander into downtown and bought some books and CDs, and also a return flight to Laos.
That evening, the Gin Girls called by for their lesson. I taught them to say "Now, Mr Nev, can you feed us gin and we will both get naked." Actually, I didn't teach them that, I concentrated more on stuff like "He is in the kitchen", "She is in the garden", "They are eating."
They're quite fun though, and it's extremely useful to have people I can practice my Korean on and iron out various little flaws. And big flaws. They're coming round again tonight as they're away this weekend, and I've also been invited to a picnic in the mountains in a few weeks time.
After three weeks I now know their names too - Hyo-Ju and I-Na. I think I'll just stick to the "Gin Girls".
Sunday was a trip to Seoul to buy a cheap 2nd hand computer. No real excitement except that I got to use the new KTX Bullet Train. It goes at 200km/h, or something. It wasn't quite as fast as an actual bullet, but it was fairly fast nonetheless. Faster than a car, but slower than a jet, roughly.
That's basically my weekend. The last couple of days have been standard enough. It's been raining a hell of a lot in the last month, but it's always very warm.
I also managed to explain that my camera was broken to the shop I bought it from, and ask to get it fixed, entirely in Korean. I'm sure I sounded like a disabled child with a speech impediment, but it was a proud achievement nonetheless.
My past few days have been relatively interesting, and you may all be either shocked or relieved to hear that I managed to get drunk last Friday night. Not especially so, but this guy Craig that I know invited me and some others to watch left-wing ranter Michael Moore's prize-winning and apparently controversial documentary "Fahreinheit 9/11", about evil US President Bush and the helpless Al Queda. Or something like that.
Anyway, it was very good and let to an obligatory discussion about the war afterwards. Because there were a number of people I don't know - including a non-drinking vegetarian for God's sake - I was very diplomatic and didn't give my real opinions about the war. Which are that it was great fun to watch on TV.
I ended up just drinking with Craig for hours afterwards, until about 3am, whereby I was in full control and could easily have driven a lorry, maybe even two, but perhaps just not legally.
As a result, I missed my Korean class for the first time in months on Saturday. I was feeling lethargic and was quite glad that there was no orphanage teaching that day, for some reason or another. I took a short wander into downtown and bought some books and CDs, and also a return flight to Laos.
That evening, the Gin Girls called by for their lesson. I taught them to say "Now, Mr Nev, can you feed us gin and we will both get naked." Actually, I didn't teach them that, I concentrated more on stuff like "He is in the kitchen", "She is in the garden", "They are eating."
They're quite fun though, and it's extremely useful to have people I can practice my Korean on and iron out various little flaws. And big flaws. They're coming round again tonight as they're away this weekend, and I've also been invited to a picnic in the mountains in a few weeks time.
After three weeks I now know their names too - Hyo-Ju and I-Na. I think I'll just stick to the "Gin Girls".
Sunday was a trip to Seoul to buy a cheap 2nd hand computer. No real excitement except that I got to use the new KTX Bullet Train. It goes at 200km/h, or something. It wasn't quite as fast as an actual bullet, but it was fairly fast nonetheless. Faster than a car, but slower than a jet, roughly.
That's basically my weekend. The last couple of days have been standard enough. It's been raining a hell of a lot in the last month, but it's always very warm.
I also managed to explain that my camera was broken to the shop I bought it from, and ask to get it fixed, entirely in Korean. I'm sure I sounded like a disabled child with a speech impediment, but it was a proud achievement nonetheless.
Friday, 9 July 2004
Danny's Accident
Great excitement in Castle School today. The kindergarten are racing around, chattering with wild abandon and their youthful enthusiasm is spilling over so much that the teachers are finding it difficult to keep them controlled.
Why? Because young Danny (Rainbow Class) managed to have explosive diarrhoea all the way from the gym to the "sick" sofa. This is one of the most exciting things that can happen in a child's life, it appears. After Christmas, perhaps.
The only one not to be excited was young Danny himself, who seemed entirely unfazed throughout the whole episode. The sick sofa has taken quite a beating though and I, for one, will not be sitting on the middle cushion for quite some time.
Sadly, for me as well as the children, this may be the highlight of my day.
Why? Because young Danny (Rainbow Class) managed to have explosive diarrhoea all the way from the gym to the "sick" sofa. This is one of the most exciting things that can happen in a child's life, it appears. After Christmas, perhaps.
The only one not to be excited was young Danny himself, who seemed entirely unfazed throughout the whole episode. The sick sofa has taken quite a beating though and I, for one, will not be sitting on the middle cushion for quite some time.
Sadly, for me as well as the children, this may be the highlight of my day.
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