Friday, 16 July 2004

The Director's Dresses And Evolution

For some reason, my director has been choosing to wear dresses for the last week. No, don't worry, my director is female so this isn't as disturbing as it might be, but it is still quite disturbing nonetheless.

You see, my director was not blessed with "small" bones exactly. She looks the sort of lady who could floor most men with a single punch. And her previous incarnation as a medium-to-smartly dressed person was fine.

But there must have been some 2-for-1 sale on, because in the last week, two dresses have been getting heavy repetition. One is a big, orange, flowery number that might have come from 50's America. The other is a little black dress designed, I thought, for sophisticated nights out. Neither dress looks like daywear for the director of a school.

The biggest problem, however, is that my director looks like a bull. Maybe a bullfrog. She behaves in much the same way. Amd so her decision to start wearing evening wear at work disturbs me.

It's possible that she's noticed my recent step up in dress sense, and decided to follow my lead.

On a totally different note, I've decided to teach my kids about evolution. However, I'm not going to directly teach them it, I'm going to slowly demonstrate it by practical demonstrations of "survival of the fittest". I'm going to deliberately persecute the quietest and most retiring member of each class and make their life purest hell. I'm going to terrorise them by shouting furiously at them for the littlest things, mocking them endlessly, forcing them to sing in front of the class, and generally just making life a misery for them.

I intend to have my chosen victim in tears for at least 25 minutes out of 40.

I'm going to absolutely destroy this weak member of the class, until they have a breakdown or the parent removes them from the school. And thus, the other students will learn by example one of the key elements of evolution.

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